April 15, 2009 @ 23:18

during interview as a camper; they asked me to prioritise. studies, cca and the board.

didnt have to think, it was cca, studies and the board.

but during that period, when everything really clashed, and clashed hard, it sort of became cca, board, studies.

studies suffered. it took a hard knock. I couldnt concentrate in class, I didnt do alot of homework. when the results came back, people around me cried. and I thought, mine is worst. I held it in, until someone gave me a hug.


appraisal today; same question. with studies omitted.

I thought for a long time. even after I gave them my answer. I still thought about it. am still thinking about it.

because, I dont know if I truly love my cca, with that kind of single hearted, total commitment anymore. dont mistake me, I still love debating, I really love my level. but it's hard to clearly and strongly give an answer.

yesterday's appraisal, it cast doubt.

and with the seniors leaving, on both sides, what next?

times like this, I miss sec2. and even then, they're changing, too. and they frighten me, 'coz I dont know, if I know them anymore.