April 26, 2009 @ 17:30

only when something is gone then does it occur to you that you should have treasured it.

when you told me that you were sorry today, I thought I would be happy. I thought that was what I was waiting for, your apology. that everything would go back to being as it was. that everything would resume. I thought I would be able to just hug you tightly and erase all the hurt. but it isnt so. I forgive you, but I cannot truly erase all the hurt, cannot look you in the eyes and promise you that everything will go back to as it was.

I thought it could, I really did. but maybe, this is once too many times, that my heart is weary and my logic too hard to convince myself.

maybe.

but it no longer matters. does it? I cant tell you I love you anymore, coz I dont mean it. I still miss you, the old you. or, the us in the past. but for now..

we'll just keep it at status quo.

and I dont feel sad, anguished. I just feel neutral, resigned even.

hear my breathe catch once more.