June 24, 2009 @ 21:00

this listlessness needs to stop, and soon.

ah. gah. gah gah.

I wish I had a way to turn my brain into a sponge and soak up all the information. what is the use of having painstakingly organized notes, thought of points for essay, if nothing is going to go into my head?

2 chapters of geog notes to memorize, SS to memorize, history to memorize, maths to practise.

and less than 5days to go before I walk into the exam hall yet again.

oh man.

and if this were all that was bothering me, maybe I wont be feeling so bad. but it isnt all, and that is the part that is killing me.

love, stop doing that to yourself, please. please, stop. please. I am begging you to stop doing that. dont make me worry like this, please. go to a doctor before it is too late, I'll drag you there myself if I could. why, stop it, please. dont sink in anymore than you already have, it isnt too late. it really really isnt. please stop. you turn away from any comfort that I could give, you turn away from any help I could get for you. why? to make me suffer, or to see me worry? you know I care, I always have. you need me to say it, I will. but please stop killing yourself like this. because that is what it is doing to you. taking your life slowly. I see your eyes and I really want to hug you and sob. I've gone three nights without sleep. you want to see me fall infront of you, I will show you. stop please, stop..for me, if not for yourself.